These three words can save lives. So many of us go throughout our day feeling like we are unseen, people don’t really see us. They may see the us we put out there but nobody will spend the time to get to know the real us, the us that God made. I know for me, I put up a lot of walls with people; it’s hard for someone to get close to me. Due to these walls I feel like people sometimes don’t see the real Gena. People see the silly, happy, love life Gena but they miss the Gena that is hidden deep down.
How many of us ask someone how they are but don’t really care? We expect an “I’m good” because we don’t want to open Pandora’s box. How many of us when asked how we are really want to tell them our whole life story, vent about the mean person that cut us off earlier in the day or the relationship you have that’s failing. We are waiting for someone to see past the wall and dig deeper, not give up, invest in us.
Dick Woodward who started the church I grew up in wrote about how people need to start saying, “How are you really?” He didn’t want the typical answer but he genuinely wanted to see past the “I’m good”. So often I ask someone how they are and I see it in them that they aren’t ok but I accept the “I’m good”. STOP ACCEPTING THE I’M GOOD. The I’m good will take lives; the I’m good will allow people to believe they aren’t seen.
SEE PEOPLE FOR WHO THEY ARE WHERE THEY ARE. The awesome thing about God is that he sees us, he sees our pain, and he sees our scars yet loves us just the same. God asks us “How are you really” and does not accept the I’m good.
In College I had a dear dear friend named Laura. She was that type of person who invested in people, who would take the time to see them. She took the time to see me when I needed someone to see me the most. I was suffering with severe depression just after dealing with an abusive relationship. I had never felt so lost in my life. The night before I visited her at work I drank till I couldn’t feel the pain. I woke up and never felt so low. I put on my best dressed clothes, did my makeup and walked to visit her where she worked on campus. I entered her office and she looked at me and just hugged me. I didn’t have to say anything, she saw me for where I was at. She asked me if I was okay and through my tears I lied and said yes. She dug deeper, she sat me down and said “You’re not ok, so together we will take the next step, you are not alone”. She held my hand and walked me to the onsite guidance office so I could talk to someone. She saw me when nobody else would take the time to see past the perfect outfit and fake smile. Be the laura. Take the time to sit with someone, hug them, and if they need it walk with them to help. Don’t be ashamed to ask for help, we all need it.
Sometimes we need that person to tell us that it’s ok to simply not be ok. If we aren’t ok God isn’t ok with us, he doesn’t force us to be in a position in life where we aren’t ready. One day my best friend Brooke texted me and asked how I was, I replied “not okay”. Her response was, “Then I’ll be not okay with you sitting next to you eating ice cream and together we can cry”. I’ll be your Brooke, I’ll be not okay with you, I’ll eat ice cream with you. You know who else will sit on the couch and eat ice cream with you? God. No matter what someone will be not okay with you. See people for the person God made them, not the person they are trying to be. We hide the not okay side of us when majority of the people are sitting on the couch with us eating ice cream, we just refuse to look over.
Part of seeing someone for who they are involves not judging them or putting yourself in their shoes. Don’t minimize their pain, we all feel things differently and it affects us differently. Empathize but don’t overlook or overshadow. BE THERE FOR THEM, SEE PAST THE IM GOOD, AND LOVE THEM FOR WHATEVER COMES OUT OF THEIR MOUTH.
I SEE YOU. I SEE THE SOPHOMORE GENA IN YOU STRUGGLING TO HANG ON. I SEE YOU FOR WHERE YOU ARE AND WHO YOU ARE.
YOU MY FRIEND ARE SEEN AND REMEMBER IT”S OKAY TO NOT BE OKAY.