Allow your heart to break. Allow yourself to feel pain. When you are experiencing heartbreak, feel it. You may think I’m cruel, crazy, and out of my mind for saying this but what I’m saying WILL SAVE YOU. I hope everyone gets the chance to experience heartbreak…by now I should be a pro when it comes to them. Someone who I value very much once told me, “Gena I hope you fall and fall hard. I hope you experience heartbreak and the pain”. I looked at that person like they were out of their mind. Why would you want that for anybody? Why did she want me to experience pain? aren’t we supposed to shield one another from pain? Made no sense at the time however, years later as I write this I understand why and now I wish that for others.
I’ve talked about heartbreak and what it does to us. It shakes us to our core; it turns all truths into lies. It makes us build up our wall brick by brick until nobody can see in. It makes us question things that we once knew to be true. Colors change, smells change, things look and feel different. It’s like we step out of our world and into another element where all we focus on is survival. We take what we can get, whatever is closest to us.
THE HEARTBREAK THAT ONCE BROKE ME NOW SAVES ME EVERYDAY. I wouldn’t take any heartbreak back. I wouldn’t change things. If I went back and avoided a heartbreak I wouldn’t be where I am today, I wouldn’t be who I am today.
To the people who once broke me, I thank you for making me stronger. I thank you for teaching me what pain feels like because without experiencing pain I wouldn’t understand or appreciate true joy. Pain makes us realize what’s important, it opens our eyes. True joy is something not a lot of people experience because they haven’t allowed themselves to feel pain. Pain is another way God reaches us, he speaks through us by the emotions we feel and experience. The thing is though we HAVE TO EXPERIENCE THE EMOTION WHEN IT COMES.
We try and hide from pain, we skip over it, and we put it to the side. By putting pain to the side you are putting God to the side. Every emotion you feel whether good or bad, God is involved some way or another. It's a disservice not to fully embrace that emotion. I’ve tried to run from the pain, I’ve tried to mask it up. You know the phrase “fake it till you make it”…I’m a pro at that. I would bury the pain deep down and not want to deal with it so naturally it stayed with me. For years I couldn’t experience true joy because I still had pain taking its spot. We have to feel the pain to release the pain. What I mean by feeling the pain is that you can’t run from it or put it in the corner. Face your pain, call it out and feel how low it makes you feel. The only way to get out is to understand the state you’re in. Cry and cry hard, don’t ever hold in your tears. Scream, throw a pillow, and do whatever you need to do to feel the pain but in a healthy way. Don’t go to alcohol, drugs, or people because that’s not feeling the pain but abusing the pain. DON’T ABUSE THE PAIN.
Here is the catch; you have to feel it but then move on. Call it out by its name then tell it to leave. You can’t sit in your heartbreak, you can’t keep holding on because you’re only taking up space where God could be working. Heartbreak is meant to be felt but it’s only supposed to be for a season, not the whole year. You have to let it go, let that person go, let the regrets go, introduce God into your heart and allow him to carry you out of the pain. It’s like in rehab the first step is admitting the problem, the first step is feeling the pain. Then once it’s known it has no more purpose in your life so move on. It may take time but use your past pain as a runway for your future joy. We have to go through the pain to get to the joy. PAIN IS OUR RUNWAY. HEARTBREAK IS OUR RUNWAY TO FREEDOM.
I'm scared to love again because I've been through really bad heartbreaks but when I think about it those periods where I was experiencing heartbreak, they were the periods in my life where I grew the most. See heartbreak brings you to your knees but that's God's reasoning because he wants you always on your knees so that he can pick you up. I wish for so many people that I love that I could have carried them through that heartbreak but I know they need to experience it. It's like middle school, it sucks but grows you. You have to graduate that to get to high school.
HEARTBREAK ISN'T THE END OF THE ROAD BUT THE BEGINNING. He will open your eyes to things that have been there the whole time you were just too distracted to see. It's like god put blinders on us in heartbreak and so that it's so easy to see him.
What about after heartbreak and the healing, will we see god then? Yes but by this point you either filled that pain with god or something else. If you filled it with something else you will keep struggling and won't be able to see the blessings clearly. WE HAVE TO FEEL OUR PAIN WITH GOD OTHERWISE THE VACANT SPACE WILL CALL THE DEVIL.
I fill my pain with people. If someone texts me or likes me then it'll distract me. So, I'll find someone to help with the pain. We do things that aren't healthy for us when we abuse our pain. It is easier to pawn our pain off to something else but that's us not dealing with it. The harder the heartbreak the bigger the blessing. He is preparing you for when you recieve that blessing.
We have to learn how to change our perspective of heartbreak. It doesn't break us but builds us. So, are you gonna text that person you've been thinking about through this whole thing or are you gonna get on your knees? What's easy isn't right and what's hard adds to our foundation.
You will get through this but promise me you won't abuse the pain. Cry, get it out; feel it. Then, stand up and stand tall because God is waiting to give you his blessing.
Heartbreak isn't bad. Pain isn't bad. Change your perspective and change your life.