Indescribable…. Indescribable is the word I would use to describe my dad. People know I’m really close to my family but what they don’t get to experience is the bond we share. I am so lucky to have such a powerful connection to my parents. Recently, my Dad and I have gotten a lot closer. My mom and I were always close, but I wouldn’t go to my dad if I needed advice. Now, he is my go to. We talk every night on the phone and facetime to catch up on one another’s day. We went from being a few cubicles away from one another (he was my boss) to thousands of miles away and boy does it suck. I miss seeing Him every day at 9 and having him be mad at me for being late to almost every morning meeting. I miss hearing him scream my name across the dealership to get my attention when at the time I would cringe. I miss hearing his music playing as he was on the computer doing business. I miss randomly going into his office and telling him that I loved him. I miss the simple things. To me, my dad is my hero because he has come so far in life. You know when they say some people are just born with “it”, whatever that it may be…well that’s him. My dad was born a fighter and every day I get to experience watching this incredible human live life…through my eyes he is superman.
People look at my dad now and look at the way he dresses, which is always to the 9s and assume he came from money. People will look at what I wear and drive and ask, “so how rich is your dad?” …it used to upset me when people asked that but now I smile because they openly have given me the chance to tell my Dad’s amazing story. I want to share with you all some lessons I have carried with me from my dad’s story but to understand them I must tell it to you first.
My dad did not come from money, to most people’s surprise. He didn’t have the nice clothes other kids had, or the big Christmases. He lived a simple hard life with his three other siblings, raising them most of the time and setting that example. My Dad didn’t get to see his father a lot as he was overseas fighting but when he did he experienced tough love. He wasn’t sheltered from life, he was living right in the middle of the arena and he was able to keep his head up above water. So many things could have broken him, but they didn’t, they only made him stronger. He could have given up, but he fought on because he had a why. His why was his future family. My dad didn’t have the chance to go to college, so he started washing cars at a local dealership. Once they saw his good work ethic they promoted him to lot attendant…you know that person that plays Tetris with the cars….yea, that was him. After doing that for some time he was able to sell the cars that he used to wash. He quickly became the best salesperson, defeating the odds. He made a vow that he would never stop working hard because he wanted his future kids to have the opportunities that he didn’t have.
For years my Dad worked as hard as he could, but the thing is he didn’t do it for anyone else, He did it for himself. I don’t know if he had the support he needed but what I do know is that he fought. He fought to better himself and to fly higher and faster. Over 30 years later my Dad is the GM of a dealership that he designed from the ground up. He was able to send his two kids to college and let them graduate with no college debt weighing them down. He went from having nothing to being able to provide everything for my sister and I. When I see other people struggle with college debt it brings tears to my eyes because I can’t believe someone loves me that much to work that hard, so I wouldn’t have to struggle. MY DAD STRUGGLED SO THAT MY SISTER AND I WOULDN’T HAVE TO.
Things happen in our life that have the opportunity to break us but it’s up to us if it does or not. My dad experienced lots of things that could have broken him but he wouldn’t allow it. When I was a baby my uncle (my dad’s brother) died. I could never imagine losing a sibling, I wouldn’t be able to carry on. If I lost my sister my world would come shattering down. I wasn’t old enough to understand but what I do know now is that my dad didn’t let it break him. He didn’t let it harden his heart or make him bitter. Instead of being bitter my dad decided to love. He loves with his whole heart and I think that’s where I get it from. He will do anything and everything for someone, whether he knows them or not. He is the type of person that will lend you money and not ask questions, he just does. Every holiday we have a big dinner and year after year since I could remember my dad’s employees have joined us. The people who don’t have loved ones to spend it with or have the means to make a dinner he invites over. He doesn’t overlook anyone no matter what position in life they are in. Which brings me to a huge lesson he taught me.
You are never too good enough to do the little things. “My title doesn’t define me, I’m not too good to go and do the job of anyone at this store” is what he would tell me. One day I was looking for my dad at work and couldn’t find him…I looked everywhere. I finally went to the back of the store where the washers wash the cars for delivery and there he was….in a suit and tie scrubbing a car for a customer to make sure it was done right. Here he is, the man who designed the building and he is in the back cleaning peoples cars because he wants to make sure they are happy. He would show up to work early to walk around the lot and pick up trash. Meanwhile I step over the trash, I show up late, I have someone else wash the car…My dad humbles himself and doesn’t allow his title to define him or his actions. How many of us think something is below us? I know I do. I’m too good to pick up that trash or its not in my job description to do this or that. To my dad there are no levels, everyone is equal. He will always pick up the trash and he will always be in the back washing cars because he is the definition of humility.
Strength and character are some of the other lessons I have learned from my Dad. Growing up my dad experienced a lot of tough love, he didn’t get the hugs and kisses like my sister and I do. He didn’t have that close bond with his parents like we do. So where does it come from? Within him. My dad has every reason to not show us the love he does yet he goes above and beyond to make sure we know how loved we are. Every Valentine’s day my dad buys me roses and chocolates, every Easter he wakes up early to make me a basket, every Christmas he makes sure Santa gets us exactly what we want. His strength is what keeps me going, his love is what defines me.
One of the most powerful memories I have with my dad shows just how much character he has. My dad isn’t a church guy and that’s ok, many people aren’t. One Christmas eve I got dressed and told my family I was going to go to the midnight sermon. I accepted I was going to go alone and went upstairs to change and get ready while my family sat on the couch and talked. When I came down my Dad was standing at the bottom of the steps in his suit with is hand out, “You would think I would really let you go alone?”. He is always there for me and that night is a night I’ll never forget. After church that Christmas eve him and I went to the store and made breakfast together at 1am. Sitting there in the kitchen with him made me realize that I am the luckiest girl in the world. He always puts us first and doesn’t even take a second to think about it, he just does.
Integrity is another lesson I have learned from my father. He always does the right thing even when nobody is looking. Throughout my Dad’s life people have done him wrong and I have witnessed it first hand. For me the most pain I’ve felt was seeing my dad be mistreated by people he put before him. My dad didn’t just forgive people but he would later go back and help them when they needed it. He doesn’t keep count of wrong doings, he forgives and shows grace. He can smile and show grace to the person who hurt him when even just typing this now my hands start to shake because I have so much hate for those people. I always wondered how my dad could forgive people and show grace but it’s because of his strength. He always tells me to keep moving forward and that’s what he does. He doesn’t live in the hurt but uses it to propel himself forward. When he gets hurt he loves more…. what a testament to what Gods love is. He drowns us in his grace unknowingly because it’s never about him.
My dad is unapologetically himself, what you see is what you get. I struggle with self-love and how others think of me, but he always reminds me, “Gena, all you have to do is be yourself and the people that love you will always be there for you. Ignore the people who hate because people are always trying to find someone to hate. You don’t have to prove anything to anyone because your family knows your heart and that’s all that matters”. When I was bullied in high school I remember one day he came up to my room when I was crying. I was embarrassed for him to see me like that because he is always so strong, and I felt like I was letting him down. He told me that I am who I am, and nobody can take that away from me. He laid with me and let me cry. He protected me from those people. He later would protect me from my abusive relationship. He protects me every day by being who he is and telling me that I am perfect the way I am.
He loves me unconditionally and it’s his love that showed me that no matter who you are you are worthy of love. He taught me to always unapologetically be myself because everyone else is taken. He taught me what it means to work for what you want and that we are never too good to give back. He taught me to show grace to people and learn how to forgive and move forward. He taught me blood is thicker than water and He shows me this every day. He is the epitome of strength and integrity. Our conversations mean more to me than he will ever know. He will never stop doing the little things for my sister, myself, and my mom. He will never stop fighting to make sure we have what we need. He was born with “it”.
Dad, thank you for showing me that no obstacle can keep me down. Thank you for showing me that I don’t need to change in order for people to like me. Thank you for fighting for us since day one. Thank you for selflessly giving to everyone who crosses your path. You are the best father a girl could ever dream of. You catch me every time I fall and you don’t make me feel bad about it. You pick my head back up and carry me when I can’t move forward. You are my wings when I try to fly. I always know you’ll catch me. You take my fear away and embrace me in love and grace. So many people can learn how to truly live life if they just watch you live yours. You set the perfect example for Elisa and I and it doesn’t go unnoticed. You’re my superman and I know you’ll always save my day.
P.S. I guess this is a good time to tell you I got another tattoo. Love you and see you in 4 days.
-Your Angelfish (lil G)