I’m in a period of my life where I am single. Some days get hard because we all want that person. I want that person who is my rock and always there for me. I want that person who makes me better and helps me grow on every level of life. I often times though get off focus with my thoughts and feelings. I think to myself “what is wrong with me”, “what am I missing that other people have”, “why am I single”. Sure I think I’m funny and a great catch but I often times think I’m missing something. I end up trying to force things, feeling depressed, beating myself up, feeling rejected.
If there is one thing we can control in this life it is our focus. I HATE when I am not in control. For examples I hate airplanes with a passion because all I can do is sit there in that scratchy too small of a seat and let other people control my life. Many of us have that control factor where we fear what we can’t control and forget what we can. Focus is one thing that we as humans can control and have the reigns on. We control what we focus on, who we focus on, it’s all on us. My focus as well as many others who I have spoken with is off. INSTEAD OF FOCUSING ON BEING THE RIGHT PERSON IM FOCUSED ON FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON. Instead of investing time in myself I am trying to find someone who I can love and will love me back and it’s exhausting. I’m always focusing on if I can dress better, improve the way I talk, be a little bit more witty then maybe someone will fall for me. I have it all backwards though. BY SEARCHING FOR SOMEONE YOU LOSE YOURSELF. You stop feeding your soul, you stop being who you really are. You become this thing, this human who doesn’t even recognize themselves because they are becoming something they’re not in hopes someone will like it.
THE ONLY WAY TO FIND THE RIGHT PERSON AND HAVE THE RIGHT PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE IS IF YOUR HEART AND MIND ARE FOCUSED ON BEING THE BEST YOU POSSIBLE. By doing what you love, investing in yourself you’ll find a joy that you gave yourself, not from someone else. Joy can be shared but not given; someone will not give you the joy you need to sustain you. You have to be happy with yourself before someone comes into your life. IF YOURE NOT THE RIGHT PERSON FOR YOU, YOU WONT ATTRACT THE RIGHT PERSON. When you reach that place in life where you are simply happy with yourself, you love yourself, you can depend on yourself, and then the right person will walk into your life. It’s not about the search but us preparing ourselves not only for our future spouse but for our future self.
My past, I didn’t love myself, I wasn’t happy just being Gena, I didn’t work on my soul and my why. I searched and found myself unhappy and exhausted. Recently I have decided to find my true joy and seek happiness from myself. The start to finding myself is this blog. I love to write, I love to share my story, so I will do just that. I love to wear my hair in a bun so instead of straightening my hair every day to try and attract someone I’ll wear my hair loud and proud in a bun. Its simple things that we starve ourselves of to find the right person but, when you get those things back then that’s when the magic happens. So do what you love, eat what you want, wear what you want, and begin to love yourself for who you are. WHEN YOU FINALLY LOVE AND ACCEPT YOURSELF YOU WILL NO LONGER NEED TO FIND SOMEONE TO COMPLETE YOU BECAUSE YOU COMPLETED YOURSELF.
Here is your homework. Make a list of everything that sets your soul on fire and begin to do them. Everyday do something that makes you happy and fall back in love with yourself. Each step is a step closer to finding true joy.